Heart-breaker

He leers at anything remotely female. You deal with it. He ignores you when his friends are around. You still deal with it. But… *gasp*! Did he just hit on your best friend behind your back? You can’t deal with it! That man’s got to go, and we tell you how to do it without hurting him too much. 1) Food For Thought: Think about what you’re about to do. Sure, y’all have been getting along less and less over time, but is it something you can resolve between yourselves and have you reached the point of no return? Answer this question honestly and then think about breaking up – it’ll save you both a lot of heartache later on.
2) Quick Draw: Now that you’ve decided to break up, do it quickly. Don’t hem and haw over the matter and put off telling him till 2050 – it’ll only make him feel cheated and betrayed. Strike when the iron is hot – in the long run, he’ll thank you for it.
3) It’s Personal: Sure, breaking up over the phone or Internet is the simplest way to go, but hello? Would you like it if someone did that to you? ‘Course not! So do unto him as you’d want him to do onto you – fix up a face-to-face meeting at a relatively quiet place. Clear up your schedule for the day though; you never know how long these things take and it won’t do to suddenly flee for that hair appointment, will it?
4) Honest Goodbye: Be clear about the reasons you want to break up with him and remember, honesty is the key here. At the same time, don’t go about hurling accusations and meting out blame – it takes two to tango and that applies as much to the failure of a relationship as to the relationship itself. Never resort to cruelty to prove your point.
5) 20 Questions: Answer all his questions about the break up as honestly as possible, without skirting the issue. Sure, it might get tedious and you’ll end up repeating yourself, but hey, you’ve found your closure – let him have his, too.
6) Grateful Dead: While you’re ringing the death knell for your relationship, take a moment to think back about all the good times you’ve shared. Make it a point to tell him how much you appreciated your time together, and while it was fun while it lasted, it’s time to let go.
7) Don’t See Red: Chances are your guy, er… ex-guy will accept everything stoically and then go home and sob his eyes out. However, there’s also a good chance he’ll scream and shout and blame everything on you. Don’t lose your temper with him – put yourself in his shoes instead. You’d probably react similarly if someone dumped you, wouldn’t you? Let him stew for a bit and explain things to him when he’s calmed down.
8) Push And Pull: Just to assuage your own guilt, don’t try to be your ex’s best friend. Calling or messaging him, inviting him for coffee etc. might send out the wrong signals and will only make him feel worse. Let him decide the future of your relationship – sometimes a clean break is the best way to go.
9) Touch Me Not: All hunky dory till now, but what if your guy refuses to take no for an answer? “We can still work through this,” he whimpers pleadingly, clutching at your feet. Before his behaviour gets any more stalker-ish, firmly tell him you’ve made up your mind and walk away. Then promptly call up one of his friends and ask him/ her to help your ex move on. If the situation worsens and he still follows you around like a lost puppy, threaten him with the police – that nearly always works!
Ultimately, there’s no way to break up with someone without hurting his/her feelings. Try implementing these pointers though – it might make things easier… for both of you